Following the Boulez keynote concert, changing my relationship to that was a challenge as the series of Donaueschingen Festival Events unfolded. I was much aware that active participation by me, with Marc Sabat’s help and my son Ross’s increasingly great participation was an essential first step. We made sure we were, notwithstanding my need to use the wheelchair, an active part of a significant number of festival events and that we were a participating part of those to the extent we could manage. As an example we attended a concert of student works where all works offered by students in residence in Donaueschingen were combined into a single multi-phased group composition. It was clear to all three of us that the significant moments were when a composition asserted its individual personality and style rather than merging into the mass of others. We were noticeable because of the wheelchair, but were able neither to exploit that nor to apologize for it. This was a kind of role-playing but we were bringing to it a sense of humor and a determination to use all events as positively as possible. Everything from attending a rehearsal of someone’s else orchestra piece to using the toilet (not a simple matter any more) had to be done in such a way as to avoid seeming a nuisance or an embarrassment. While this did not always succeed, keeping it very much in mind was a way of constantly reawakening myself when my alertness began to fade. These were long days, and essential parts of a process of making myself known as a positive person. A number of memorable new friends come to mind but none more vividly than the piano tuner whose job it was to tune the two grand pianos we were using in Quintet for Groups in just the way they had to be to support the special kind of consonance/dissonance I used as the basis of the composition. The process of tuning, which had to wait until all other uses of the concert hall were completed for the day—about 11:30p.m.—resulted in our being there working until about 3:00 A.M.. It challenged every one of us and when we knew we had done it well, we felt real friendship.
More to come.